Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Dear Elliana: A letter to my baby.

Dear Elliana:

I hope you know that everything mommy does, she does with you in mind. From the moment I found out that I would be your mommy, I knew that my life was about to change but I never could have imagined how MUCH change was actually in store for me. I knew you'd call me "mommy". I knew I'd have to be less selfish and put you first. I knew that I'd trade in eye liner for baby spit and pocket books for diaper bags. Long baths for quick showers. I knew all these things. What I didn't know was how you would change me INSIDE. When I found out that you were going to be a little girl, I was on top of the world. A little girl was just what I wanted. Mommy's little girl.

Once it sunk in that I would be the mother of a little girl, I began thinking of my childhood and what it was like to be a young woman and then what it would be like to raise a young woman in this new era. That's when I realized that my life was about to change in more ways than just becoming a mother. You see, I was an overweight child from a very early age into adulthood. I was made fun of. I was treated differently for being chubby. In high school I couldn't shop in the same stores as my friends because the clothes didn't fit. I was picked last in gym class because I was slow. I couldn't even run the mile that we had to run in school. I never had a real boyfriend who truly loved me until I met your daddy. I was looked at in a different way than the skinny girls were and that made me sad. I didn't always show that it made me sad but deep down, it truly did. It hurts to be treated differently.

I don't want that for you. I don't ever want you to feel sad or for people to hurt you and I certainly don't want you to ever be unhealthy. I want you to be able to run and play and keep up with your friends. I want you to be treated the way an angel like you should be treated. I know it's not nice that people who look different are treated differently, but sadly that is the way our world is. I want you to grow up a healthy, happy, little girl and young woman.

Which is why, when you were born, I decided to change MY ways and lead by example. If I want you to eat healthy food then I have to eat healthy food too. If I want you to run and play then I have to run and play too! We can do these things together! I don't want to be the mommy sitting on the porch watching her kids play on the lawn. I want to be the mommy out on the lawn playing tag WITH you! You have shown me so many things about myself just by being you. You have inspired me to finally drop the pounds I had been carrying around for so long and break my old bad habits so that I can teach you NEW and improved habits that will stick with you for life. I want to give you the best life possible and that starts with showing you how to take care of your one and only body - your temple.

Thank you, Elliana, for simply being you. Thank you for showing me the meaning of unconditional love. Thank you for changing my life.

I promise you this: I promise that I will always practice what I preach. If I want you to do something, I'll SHOW you how, not just TELL you. I promise to always take care of MY health so that I can grow old with you and be the best mommy that I can be always and forever! I promise to always be your best friend.

I've been inspired by many things in my life but never anyone or anything quite like YOU.



Unknown said...

this is so amazing. i never want my children to have to face the struggles i dealt with being overweight through my childhood and adolescents. i can't wait to have a healthy and active life with my kids :) you're a great role model !

Unknown said...

This is beautiful! No one can prepare you for jusT how much you are going to love your child. It's a love so strong it hurts (but in a good way). Having a young daughter myself this really spoke to me. It warmed my heart. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. I just found it and you are such an inspiration. I love this post. I changed my ways and started weight watchers when I found out I can not have my own children and so I wanted to be as healthy as I could for the children we add to our family through adoption. I to have a weightless blog that I love but have just started. If you would like access to it you can email me at Thanks for your inspiring posts.


DaphneCT said...

So beautiful! There really is nothing like a MOTHER'S LOVE!!!

Unknown said...

Its so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes, you have done amazing and I'm glad your daughter will be able to grow up knowing the change you made for her.


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