Transparency

 "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

~Michael Jordan

One of my Facebook fans sent this quote today and though I've read this quote countless times in my life, today it made me tear up quite a bit.

I'm going to share something with you all and it's not for a pity party or for 100 comments with the cure....it's because I am always transparent, always have been, always will be.

...*clears throat* ...

When I feel as though I have failed or am failing struggling significantly, I don't feel worthy of being Skinny Jeans Dreams or a Beachbody coach and I ask "Why would so many people want to be like me?" . I feel like the "Fit Police" are going to come arrest me for impersonating a fit person and take me back to "Fat Jail" . I know it sounds ridiculous. Even as I type it, I realize how silly it sounds....but...those are thoughts that run through my head.

# 2 - I am currently in counseling. I am not going to go into too much detail but when I mention the mental aspect being the hardest part - I am not just saying that. I am speaking with a counselor regularly to help with my deep rooted feelings of self worth, fear of failure, and anxiety issues. I just want to be the best me that I can be - inside and out.

So, I don't have any philosophical words of wisdom for this particular post and I am not seeking any type of pity party whatsoever - I am confident in knowing that I am working on bettering myself on the inside to match what's going on on the outside. If my longterm goal is to continue to help others, I need to first be right with myself.

Thank you all for being such a big part of my life and supporting me in all that I am and all that I do!

I want to be legendary.

Making Some Changes

And then....

POOF! 

Which is why I am making some changes. 

Many of you can relate to the above without me having to say a thing. I watched my baby girl decorate the tree tonight and sing "If you're happy and you know it" and dance around the living room and I couldn't believe my baby had grown up so much SO fast!! Seems like just yesterday I was trying to get her to say "mama" and "dada" and here she is singing "Old McDonald had a Dora" and making up her own songs. 

Soo, though I could talk about my daughter and all that she does forever, the point of the blog is that I am going to be making some changes to Skinny Jeans Dreams so I can focus on being Krystle and being Elliana's mommy a bit more. My baby girl will only be a baby ONCE and I do not want to miss it wrapped up in my laptop!  While I love talking to so many of you every day one on one, answering emails and messages now that I have close to 10,000 fans has become QUITE time consuming, as I am sure you can imagine. 

I wish I could just be Skinny Jeans Dreams all day but I do have another job on top of being a mom, wife, and Beachbody coach..I have a house to maintain as well as my OWN health and fitness. I am also dealing with some personal things lately that I plan to touch on in the near future. Needless to say, life has been a little bit overwhelming and I feel as though I am missing out on the day-to-day with my daughter trying to catch up on things on the computer and around the house. 

Sooo....

New SJD Rules: 

-Every day I set a list of prioritized things that must get done. 

-I answer 5-7 messages or emails daily - I can no longer spend 3 hours of my day answering messages. 

-I will, however, scan messages and update my FAQ page accordingly! 

-I will also continue to post my general FB posts 

-After 4pm when I get my daughter from day care and until 8pm when she goes to bed is HER time. The computer and phone are put away except maybe a FB post here or there in the way of dinner time.

-After 8pm, I will spend a short amount of time checking emails and posts but as much as my daughter is important, so is her father and he deserves time too. A few nights this week he was asleep before I was done answering emails. :( 

My priority statement that I set in the beginning of Chalene Johnson's book is as follows: 

My #1 priority is to be physically, emotionally, and mentally present and attentive in my daughter and boyfriend's life DAILY. To be the best mother I can be and to raise a well rounded, educated, and healthy child that knows the importance of personal strength both inside and out and to be the best spouse that I can be, making sure that he knows his worth in my life.

I plan to continue to live in accordance with that priority statement. 

I love you guys and I love being Skinny Jeans Dreams and I hope that you all understand my decrease in the way of the personalized responses. I hope that I can continue to inspire and motivate you all through my day-to-day posts!! 

For questions pertaining to the "How" and "How much" and "Do you_____"? see my FAQ page! I answer a lot of questions on there! 

xoxo 

SJD