Friday, January 6, 2012

"If your friends don't have the same goals as you......"


To some, that may sound silly. I'm not saying go out and kick your best friend to the curb because he or she doesn't need to lose weight and you do. Oh first of all, that's a quote from my fave - Chalene Johnson. But what I am saying is this... if you have goals such as eating healthy, working out, giving up alcohol, quitting smoking, etc...then hanging out with people who don't care about their health and want to go to the next steak house, share a family sized plate of lasagna, and a bottle of wine every time you want to hang out, may not be the best idea. 

The first time I heard that quote I thought "Well that's kind of can't just kick your friends to the curb".....then I realized something. As you change, so do the people around you. As you strive to be better, so do your friends. And the ones who don't find that same motivation, tend to drift off anyway. I can't count the number of friends that I have that have traded in their old habits for new and improved healthy habits because they were motivated by me to do so. There are people that I have been acquaintances with or friends at a distance that now, I can call close friends because we find ourselves with the same passions. As well as, every single new friend that I have made in the past year and a half has health related goals.

My boyfriend's sister for example. We have always been could have called us friends in the past. She actually introduced me to her brother, the love of my life. But even though we were "friends" we didn't have too much in common so it was kinda like because I was dating her brother we remained friends but at a distance. But NOW ....she is one of my best friends. We both found a love for health and fitness, we started working out together, we exchange recipes, and in 2012 we both have the same New Year's Resolution - aka having similar goals and we talk every single day. She is one of my biggest supporters, and I am hers. We push each other to another level and I am so thankful to have someone like her in my life.

we hang out...
We work out. 

I was at the gym last night and ran into someone who used to be my best friend in school...I mean best best best, couldn't separate us for nothing, one year for Halloween we were even a Siamese cactus (don't judge us) but as we got older, we went our separate ways because our goals and hobbies changed. Now that we are older we still talk on occasion but running into her at the gym last night was a cool experience. We were back to having things in common and having things we wanted to do together. I spur of the moment took a class with her and now she's coming to a class with me (and Tamara!) on Saturday. 
I could go on and on. My last example is my hunni. As we got in bed last night after we had spent time at the gym together, I said to him "I'm so happy that we have similar goals. I would think it would be pretty hard for me if I had to keep Doritos in the house for you or if one of us wanted to go to the gym and the other one didn't....we would never see each other. I'm glad that we can spend quality time working out together and have conversations about health and wellness. " I wish this for everyone. No matter what your goals are, I hope that your spouse is on the same level as you. It really makes accomplishing your goals that much easier!! 

The bottom line is this: Don't be afraid to rekindle old friendships. Don't be afraid to say "no" to hanging out with someone who may hinder your weight loss journey. Don't be afraid to play people at a distance if they are not an asset to your life at this point. Sometimes just because you have been friends with someone all your life, doesn't mean you can't make new friends that will aid in your journey. 

I am realizing that all of the people I talk to on a day to day basis are health nuts like myself and I wouldn't have it any other way!! Talking about health and fitness on a regular basis keeps my goals in the forefront of my mind at all times.

This is not a journey you can take alone! That's for darn sure. 

*Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold* ......LOL shhh I was a Girl Scout.

Love and hugs. 



Kim said...

Omg I literally just wrote something along the same line of the friends comment you made to someone else weird.....

Lauren Jones said...

This is so true - I have friends that I've known since I was 13 and while I wouldn't change them for anything, hanging out with them can be tough. Be live far apart now so when we meet up its always for somebody's birthday, Christmas, etc, and they just want to go out to eat/drink/party. Its fine and I enjoy it, but when I want to stop at 2 or 3 drinks they're having none of it. Meanwhile through Weight Watchers I've met three of my absolute best and closest friends - one of them I haven't even met - and they support me in everything I do. Having them on hand makes things so much easier :)


Unknown said...

Krystle, I think you and I are a good example of this.. Even though we weren't close growing up (although we lived close haha), if i were still living in Jersey I have a feeling we would definitely be hanging out because we have really similar interests! I am really looking forward to when you take your trip to Florida so we can get together :)

Unknown said...

loving this post and totally agreeing. was hard having all my friends, many of whom are not on the same path as me when it comes to health, home and around and eating with me over the holidays. they always wanted to go out to eat and party and it was hard to stay on track! luckily i do have a ton of support from them and they would do anything to help me but it can be hard because i do want to be able to do those things without going overboard.

ps. i tagged you in my latest blog !

Bridgit said...

LOVE this, Krystle!! So very true!!

Carbie Girl said...

I never really stopped to think about this Krystle but it all makes so much sense. I've distanced myself from quite a few friends this past year and i feel a little guilty about it but I find its because they are ALWAYS so negative about their lives and its draining on me to be around such negativity when I'm on such a shaky path of changes myself. I want to stay positive and need to surround myself with people who want the same.

Enyonam said...

This is so true. I have friends who made mean comments when I refused to have ice cream or do something that would affect my weight loss efforts. Guess what I did? I stopped hanging out with them.


Krystle kjb Bailey said...

Thank you ladies for the comments!! Glad I'm not the only one and i'm glad that I'm on this journey with you all! Sometimes sharing the journey with people you have never even met can be just as supportive, if not more, than sharing it with just the people you know.


Unknown said...

I couldn't agree more ! Great post !

Unknown said...

I'm really just getting started on my weight loss journey, but I can already see old friends and old habits kind of slipping off. It's almost sad to say this but it really doesn't upset me because I have noticed that we were really only friends to start with because it was more of a comfort thing than anything else. This post is really helpful and makes me feel so much better about what is happening! Thank you!

Teresa Halminton said...

I agree with you. Having a friend with the same goal can motivate me much.

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