Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A little unexpected ice cream:: A life lesson.

I seriously have so much to talk about all the time that by the time I get a chance to blog, I can't organize my thoughts and end up not blogging at all!! Sheesh!! I have a friend who jokes that if you were able to look inside his brain you would see a constant ticker, you know like the ones on Wall Street?, of information that he is constantly thinking about. That's how MY brain works too!! It is constantly on over drive. LOL!

My brain.....minus the stock information LOL! 

Anyway, I have many blogs that I want to share with you and stuff coming up once I can diligently organize my thoughts into words but today I want to share with you a lesson that I learned this week.

1st let me say, I am a beautiful WORK IN PROGRESS and I am proud of it. I am constantly learning new things about weight loss, about life, and about myself. This week I learned a little something about the three combined and a little thing called BALANCE. 

On Saturday I came home from Weight Watchers and told my boyfriend about how I was changing to the Simply Filling technique (Another blog for another time!!) and that I think it will help me to reach my goal. I won't bore you with the details of the argument that followed but basically he expressed to me that I had been becoming obsessed with my weight loss, that's all I talk about, that's all I think about, and it's becoming an unhealthy obsession.

WHAT??!! I was so upset. I went in the other room and cried my eyes out. How could something HEALTHY become something UNHEALTHY??! An unhealthy OBSESSION, at that? I was so angry at him. I felt like I had lost my biggest supporter and my biggest fan. I blogged on Weight Watchers about it expressing how hurt I was and lost as to what to do or say and as usual, my Weight Watchers family showed up when I needed them most!!

It turns out that this is a very common problem among couples that one of them are on this journey, and the other is taking a different path. I got so many responses saying that they had been through the same with their significant other.

Here is some of the advice I received:
  • Shut up. LOL Not in so many words but maybe just give him a Weight Watchers BREAK! Use the WW community to talk about it because that's what they are thinking about too! 
  • Take a step back and look at it through his eyes. If he talked about stocks and natural gas all day every day, would you still care? Probably not.
  • Take one day a week that you don't talk about weight loss AT ALL. 
  • Take a deep own up to the fact that you probably ARE a bit obsessed. We all are!! 
That last one made me open my eyes a bit. Maybe I was obsessed. Okay, I am obsessed. But is it unhealthy??? So my boyfriend and I had a long talk and expressed our feeling towards each other. In the days following, I worked on biting my tongue when it came to things such as Weight Watchers and weight loss unless he brought it up.

Last night was when the real lesson set in and the light bulb went off! 

We didn't have plans for Valentines Day and I wasn't expecting much. I was going to make dinner like I do most nights and watch Biggest Loser like any other Tuesday night. But my honey came home with roses in his hand, lobster tail, opened a bottle of red wine, and asked me if I wanted to go on a date tomorrow night as well.

The dinner I had prepared was all power foods and I stopped when I was satisfied so I was doing good. I decided to cancel my plans to workout during The Biggest Loser (since I already got in 2 workouts yesterday) and instead spend time with Nick. After the baby went to bed, he proceeded to open a second bottle of wine. By then, I had finished 2 glasses. What I also saw was this:

I started to think about how many Points I would be consuming between the ice cream and the wine and I had already been pushing my limit for the week with a date still planned for tomorrow but you know what??

I just said IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Maybe I AM a little obsessed and maybe I just need to chill out! Not saying get off track every day but not everything has to revolve around weight loss. Life still is waiting to be lived. So I enjoyed my 3rd glass of wine, a small scoop of ice cream, and I didn't beat myself over it not one bit. I actually celebrated the fact that I have gotten this far and lost almost 100lbs by having days like that, going out on dates, and having days where I fall off plan a little bit but getting back up every time I fall.

My honey never meant to hurt my feelings the other day but I'm kinda glad he did. He made me open my eyes and remember that life isn't ALL ABOUT WEIGHT WATCHERS or weight loss.

Now, of course I am right back on track today and will always continue to strive for my goals. I'm just glad he bursted my bubble a little bit and took me down a notch. :)

Just like life isn't ALL about FOOD, life isn't ALL about weight loss either.

Life is about enjoying the people around you and appreciating the time you have together, even if it includes some unexpected wine and ice cream.


Anonymous said...

I needed to hear this post today. I cheated all day yesterday with friends for Valentines day and today I feel so guilty. I am so hard on myself when I get off track. I need your willpower though, sometimes I have a hard time getting back on track.

Bzybee said...

Whilst I do not have a live in partner, I find that I do talk a lot about weight loss.. why? because it can consume your life if you are serious about it. You can't take a half assed approach to it. Yesterday me and a friend ate out at Applebess. Not the most romantic place, but they are the single best weight loss friendly chain around.

I am working so hard and I know that 1 bad meal effects me a lot whilst I am aiming for 2 lbs/week loss. I just don't want to have to lose weight twice. The bottom line is that this weight loss is very important to me right now and anyone who can not handle it needs to decide whether to stick around or leave.. because I am not giving up, slowing down or taking a break until I am much closer to goal.

I don't think taking 1 year out of my life to deal with this issue is much to ask.

Bridgit said...

Thanks so much for posting this blog. I needed to hear this, and you are exactly right. While we are on this journey, it becomes easy to obsess over everything healthy and your weight loss/gain. we tend to forget to live a little some days, because we are constantly consuming ourselves with the "what if's?"

RubyAlison said...

Question - with a full time job, being a mom, having a relationship, and everything else that goes on in the day - do you usually find time to work out twice a day? How much time do you spend working out a day? May I ask?

With any subject that I am really into, I can easily talk about it way more than my husband has any interest in. I tell him some stuff, after all he is my husband and the person I talk to the most. But talking to my other friends and/or online are great outlets too so I don't overwhelm any one person with all my thoughts all the time about something.

I really look forward to hearing about your switch from Points to Simply Filling!

Those are beautiful flowers. White roses are a favorite of mine.

I'm glad you enjoyed your night and hope you have a great date tonight too!

Kim said...

Ha I had one of these moments and yesterday my love wanted to take me to a restaurant I knew would take me above and beyond my points which I needed for my birthday but I sucked it up and ate dinner drank wine and had a great valentines day. I could care less too. I probably will gain cuz thats how my body is but hey I had a great time and wont regret it even with a possible up because I will have the lbs off in no time. Glad you had a great day and notice his side of things now.

SANDRA said...

its nice to read this today.. i had a little argue with my mom today.. she is overweight and i have 2 years with 25-30 extra pds, is not a lott but i feel like if they were 100 (no offense to anybody).. i started on monday my 2 months program to reach my goal.. im 150 and i want to be 125..but having an overweight mom and a not OW brother that eats any kind of food (and eats like if he has 5 little people in his stomach make this really here in mexico is delicious ... Its a problem every day because i want to push my mom to eat healthy with me but today i finally gave over her... and after a fight .. i finally decide to stop pushing her and DO MY OWN JOB FOR ME AND NOBODY ELSE.. may be she'll get up to my train when i'll start showing progress.. i know i will..

yes i think this losing weight thing is adictive but we can see the nice side.. its better to have an obsession with something being healthy and happy than wanting drougs and alcohol or something else every time.

Unknown said...

This is perfect! I have had a few life opportunities in the last week where I have gone over a bit on my daily calories (ha, usually even when I used my exercise calories), and I have been feeling really bad about it. Last night was my hubby brought home pizza (perogy pizza OMG) and this chocolate mousse cake with cheesecake bites in it. The rest of my day had been decent (aside from the one sugar cookie which was pushed on me... excuse I know), and at dinner I ended up eating a good portion of the pizza and then I made hubby share the dessert. I should celebrate the fact that I SHARED my yummy goodness. I should be focussing on the quality of time we had, and not all the time about the numbers (calories, pounds, protein)

Lauren Jones said...

I feel like I have this disagreement all the time! I'm single so its not with a partner, but with my family, friends and especially my housemates! Sometimes its good to remember that not everyone is living their life the same way that you are and what interests you doesn't necessarily interest everyone else in your life! There's no way I'd let my housemates talk to me about football all day, so why should they listen to me talk about Weight Watchers!? Well done to your boyfriend for having the guts to tell you that you were taking things too far, and well done to you for actually listening! Sometimes its too easy to dismiss what people say to us and plough on regardless, which is NOT healthy! I'm so glad you enjoyed your valentine's wine and ice cream - you deserve it!!

Lauren xx

Carbie Girl said...

Man how I've missed your blog <3 I'm so glad you had people to help you realize your man wasn't trying to upset you or hurt your feelings. Weight loss can NOT consume your life entirely. There are other responsibilities and its most DEFINITELY about balance. Its hard because weight loss is 100% about YOU but relationships and keeping them strong is about two people ... balance is key. I went through something similar last night when TheFiance made dinner ... carb overload but I sat down and ate everything he prepared for me including the chocolate covered strawberries... i freaked out for a second but said "its OK dammit"... and the evening was phenomenal <3

Sarah said...

our thought process is so similar. My brain is always going and my friends are always telling me to quit thinking!


Teresa Halminton said...

That red velvet cake ice cream looks so great!
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