Saturday, December 29, 2012


 "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

~Michael Jordan

One of my Facebook fans sent this quote today and though I've read this quote countless times in my life, today it made me tear up quite a bit.

I'm going to share something with you all and it's not for a pity party or for 100 comments with the's because I am always transparent, always have been, always will be.

...*clears throat* ...

When I feel as though I have failed or am failing struggling significantly, I don't feel worthy of being Skinny Jeans Dreams or a Beachbody coach and I ask "Why would so many people want to be like me?" . I feel like the "Fit Police" are going to come arrest me for impersonating a fit person and take me back to "Fat Jail" . I know it sounds ridiculous. Even as I type it, I realize how silly it sounds....but...those are thoughts that run through my head.

# 2 - I am currently in counseling. I am not going to go into too much detail but when I mention the mental aspect being the hardest part - I am not just saying that. I am speaking with a counselor regularly to help with my deep rooted feelings of self worth, fear of failure, and anxiety issues. I just want to be the best me that I can be - inside and out.

So, I don't have any philosophical words of wisdom for this particular post and I am not seeking any type of pity party whatsoever - I am confident in knowing that I am working on bettering myself on the inside to match what's going on on the outside. If my longterm goal is to continue to help others, I need to first be right with myself.

Thank you all for being such a big part of my life and supporting me in all that I am and all that I do!

I want to be legendary.


Alice said...

I want to no pity for about what I am going to say...I had to get my head on straight as well. I am 53 years old and at the ripe age of 51, I 'remembered' I had been sexually assaulted by 3 girls at girl scout camp when I was 13. It started as flashbacks and it ate me up inside asking why, why, why. I found help through a domestic violence sexual assault support group. I discovered my life had been built around the assault whether I remembered it or not. I ate to 'hide' from people, I didn't like anyone in my space, I still have trust issues and very few friends. Through this group, I have 'freed' myself to be able to speak about it openly. I am not ashamed, I didn't do it, I was a victim. I hope this helps you to understand we all have issues we have to work through and we are who we are because of what we have been through. We are not frauds, we have fears, real fears. Keep getting counseling and doing what you're doing. You will get better.

Unknown said...

I think the fact that you have ups and downs and share them and are "real" is what makes you so helpful and wonderful. You have taught me its ok to make mistakes and slip up as long as we don't give up. Thank you.

Unknown said...

I love you! You are a strong, beautiful, amazing woman, mother and wife but I've learned that it's hard to see the great things about ourselves at times. It can be hard to feel worthy in this world, it's something I struggle with so much but.. we'll get there! xoxo

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