Saturday, December 29, 2012

Transparency

 "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

~Michael Jordan

One of my Facebook fans sent this quote today and though I've read this quote countless times in my life, today it made me tear up quite a bit.

I'm going to share something with you all and it's not for a pity party or for 100 comments with the cure....it's because I am always transparent, always have been, always will be.

...*clears throat* ...

When I feel as though I have failed or am failing struggling significantly, I don't feel worthy of being Skinny Jeans Dreams or a Beachbody coach and I ask "Why would so many people want to be like me?" . I feel like the "Fit Police" are going to come arrest me for impersonating a fit person and take me back to "Fat Jail" . I know it sounds ridiculous. Even as I type it, I realize how silly it sounds....but...those are thoughts that run through my head.

# 2 - I am currently in counseling. I am not going to go into too much detail but when I mention the mental aspect being the hardest part - I am not just saying that. I am speaking with a counselor regularly to help with my deep rooted feelings of self worth, fear of failure, and anxiety issues. I just want to be the best me that I can be - inside and out.

So, I don't have any philosophical words of wisdom for this particular post and I am not seeking any type of pity party whatsoever - I am confident in knowing that I am working on bettering myself on the inside to match what's going on on the outside. If my longterm goal is to continue to help others, I need to first be right with myself.

Thank you all for being such a big part of my life and supporting me in all that I am and all that I do!

I want to be legendary.

10 comments:

Alice said...

I want to no pity for about what I am going to say...I had to get my head on straight as well. I am 53 years old and at the ripe age of 51, I 'remembered' I had been sexually assaulted by 3 girls at girl scout camp when I was 13. It started as flashbacks and it ate me up inside asking why, why, why. I found help through a domestic violence sexual assault support group. I discovered my life had been built around the assault whether I remembered it or not. I ate to 'hide' from people, I didn't like anyone in my space, I still have trust issues and very few friends. Through this group, I have 'freed' myself to be able to speak about it openly. I am not ashamed, I didn't do it, I was a victim. I hope this helps you to understand we all have issues we have to work through and we are who we are because of what we have been through. We are not frauds, we have fears, real fears. Keep getting counseling and doing what you're doing. You will get better.

Adele LaChacz said...

I think the fact that you have ups and downs and share them and are "real" is what makes you so helpful and wonderful. You have taught me its ok to make mistakes and slip up as long as we don't give up. Thank you.

bailey j said...

I love you! You are a strong, beautiful, amazing woman, mother and wife but I've learned that it's hard to see the great things about ourselves at times. It can be hard to feel worthy in this world, it's something I struggle with so much but.. we'll get there! xoxo

84829942-3a88-11e0-83da-000bcdcb5194 said...

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
Why American men should not marry American women

http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

I encourage ALL American men to NEVER MARRY American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

Tens of millions of American men have had their lives completely destroyed by American women through the following crimes:

1. False rape accusations (it has been proven that up to 80 percent of rape accusations are FALSE)

2. False domestic violence (DV) charges (same as above, and up to 40 percent of domestic violence victims are MALE, with their female partners INITIATING the violence)

3. False sexual harassment charges

4. Financial destruction of men in divorce courts through alimony and support payments (women get up to 95 percent of their ex-husband's income and savings, as well as the house, car, etc)

5. Emotional destruction of men by ex-wives who have stolen their children from them and forbidden the fathers from having custody or contact with their own children

6. Divorced dads who commit suicide as a result

A few more reasons to stay away from American women?

-25 percent of American women take psychiatric drugs for mental illnesses.
-25 percent of women under the age of 30 have at least one STD.
-85 percent of divorces in America are INITIATED by women, thus women are responsible for the vast majority of divorces.
-70 percent of criminals in America were raised by single mothers, thus feminism is responsible for most crime in America.
-The majority of child molestation, child abuse, and child murder in America is done by WOMEN.
-American women are NINE TIMES more likely to murder their own children than the biological father

Another thing I noticed, is that whenever you bring up the topic of American men marrying asian women in front of an American woman, she will make some racist and hateful comment about asian women, calling them "slaves" or "mail order brides". My question is this: If American women are so "independent", "confident", "strong", and "empowered" like they claim to be, why do they feel threatened by Asian women? Why are American women so jealous towards Asian women? The real reason is this- Asian women are 1000 times superior to American women, and any American man who has dated/married an Asian woman will tell you this.

If you want to get married, find a nice foreign girl from Asia, or South America, or Russia/Eastern Europe. DO NOT MARRY AN AMERICAN WOMAN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

Over 50 percent of American women are single, without a boyfriend or husband; so the fact is most American men no longer want to marry American women. Let these worthless American women grow old living alone with their 10 cats.

American women are living in their own pathetic little fantasy world, where they think they are a perfect little princess. Sorry, but you are NOT a perfect little princess.

Give American women the husband they deserve- NONE!

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

alex hren said...

is a big, fat, outrageous scam. A few months ago I happened to place an order for a 20 page paper through their website. With “transparent” writer reviews and “affordable” prices, I thought I was making the best choice available. I was wrong. (A bit of background information: I am a senior in college who wanted a sample paper to help me complete my comps). When I first saw website, it didn’t seem horrible. They promised low prices and their writers seemed American or at least fluent in the English language (stupid me thinking that their writers’ names were real). But what was advertised as $7.50 per page quickly spiraled into $25 and $30 per page. On top of that, I realized that if you didn’t buy from a pricey writer, your paper was going to be complete shit. Like illegible. Like an F. So after I placed my order with a writer named God-knows-what in real life, I sat and waited for my paper. I had written a draft of my paper already and was going to use this to ease the process. What I got was COMPLETE GARBAGE. The paper was formatted incorrectly, it didn’t reach the page limit I PAID FOR, and didn’t even address the topics I requested. I think assumes that students who use their service are complete idiots. Some may be. But I am not. I ordered a paper with them because I care about my grades (who doesn’t when paying 50K a year for school) and wanted to IMPROVE my dissertation. So, what did they do when I called to ask for a partial refund? They told ME that nothing could be done. That the terms and conditions I agreed too were set in stone and that it was my fault for having selected the writer that I did.

Essentially they told me that they can take my money but not offer a shred of accountability when one of their employees fucks up. WOW. And then here’s the best part: when I called to speak with someone about giving a negative review of their service, they told me they would find out where I go to school and make sure I would always regret speaking poorly about them. Real professional. So, as an aspiring computer programmer, A REALLY PISSED OFF CUSTOMER, and someone who doesn’t give a flying fuck that these scam artists have my contact information, I created this website to inform students around the world that is a scam. I encourage fellow students who have been scammed by this company to give their reviews on as well. The more reviews the merrier.

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