Everybody thinks they want to be special, but when someone finds out how special he or she really is, often he or she quickly discovers a great desire to be like everybody else.--Mark Mossa
Find out who you are and do it on purpose.--Dolly Parton
I was once afraid of people saying, "Who does she think she is?" Now I have the courage to stand and say, "This is who I am."--Oprah Winfrey
For a long time now, I have been trying to "keep up the Jones's" when it comes to health and fitness. I am a fan of tons of fitness pages, blogs, I subscribe to newsletters and magazines and my world is consumed with folks trying to be in better shape than the next person or telling others how they can be in better shape than the next person. Constant reminders of what to eat, what not to eat, when to workout, how to workout, where to workout, when to drink water, when to drink tea.......*AGH!!!!*
While all those things are helpful....
when I DON'T follow plan to a T or I don't workout...I was finding myself depressed and angry at myself because if (insert name) can be up at 5:30am doing it, then I need to be up at 5:15am doing it too. And if (insert name) lost weight this week, I would feel bad if I didn't lose weight too. And if (insert name) wears a size 2 then despite me only wanting to originally be a size 10, I must have to be a size 2 too and wouldn't dare settle at the size 6 that I am. Stuck in the mentality that if so and so is doing it, then I can do it too.
Well the fact of the matter is this:
-I don't need a six pack.
-I like sugar in my life and I won't cut it out completely.
-Sometimes I just don't feel like tracking.
-Sometimes I do.
-I win some battles.
-I lose some battles.
-I surpassed my weight loss goal
-I surpassed my size goal
-I stay active whether or not I'm up at 5:30 am
-I don't workout as much as some of my friends
-I like oreos
-I LOVE wine.
-I hate counting points for alcohol. So I don't. It's that simple.
- Sometimes I make bad decisions
-But most of the time I make good ones
-It's all about balance
At the end of the day - SURE....I could be in better shape than I am in. I could probably be thinner than I am. I could be the perfect Weight Watcher and only get off track once every six months or something but that's not ME.
And today....today, I finally came to the realization that I am OKAY with that!! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This morning, I went back to bed for 45 minutes for the first time since I was pregnant in 2010 (other than the rare occasion that I am sick). I went back to bed and I didn't regret it! Normally, I would fight myself tooth and nail to go workout instead. I didn't feel like I had to be like (insert name) so I could be just as fit or just as great as them. What I felt was simple. "I am Krystle Bailey. I am not (insert name). and my mind and my body are TIRED!! and I am going back to BED".
Obviously, the above will not become a routine for me because I know how habits can change very easily but just the fact that I was able to let go of the comparisons between myself and others and let go of having to "answer" to my fan page and just listen to my body and what KRYSTLE needed, felt GOOD.
I also mentioned today about giving into a few bites, licks, and tastes after my daughter got home. For a moment I felt sorry about it. But later in the day when I very easily said "no thank you" to boardwalk ice cream, I realized that I am not PERFECT but I am definitely BETTER....better than I was and continuously working to be a better me day after day.
I don't have the time to workout 2 hours in the gym every day. 2 hours spent with my daughter are more important to me than a six pack. If time with friends involves a glass or two or wine - that is more important to me than gaining 0.4 on the scale.
I am finally finding comfort in the fact that I am not perfect but I'm good enough for me and I have more to offer the world than just a perfect image of health and fitness. I am way more than that.