The scale is in the closet.
1) I am entirely too obsessed with the scale. This is not the first time it has been in the closet and it probably won't be the last. I take it out just to "check" and it becomes an obsession again.
2) I really, really, really binged this weekend. To the point that I am in tears as I am writing this blog. No, I didn't eat 3 pizzas and drink 5 milkshakes but I ate....and I ate.....and I ate.....my stomach was full and I still ate. I would probably die or pass out if I ate 3 pizzas but that's not the point. What's worse is that after Friday, I said I was done. Then Saturday came and I did it again. Saturday night I said I was done. Sunday came and we went to Father's Day brunch and I did it again and now i am sitting here....3 days in....completely grossed out by myself and that's the God's honest truth.
I am not healed. I am not some new, naturally skinny person who won the battle against food and never has to think about it again. I am Krystle Bailey - food addict - trying to overcome. I suppose I will always be a food addict.
I really have some issues.....
Yes, I have really good days. Yes, I have come a long way. Yes, this is a journey. But that doesn't take away from the fact that I have deep rooted issues. I have even thought about seeking counseling to get to the root of them......
I'm not really sure the purpose of this blog but I am here to tell you that no matter the size 4 outfits or the crazy workouts, no matter the scale and non scale victories, despite all of the victories, I still STRUGGLE. I WILL win.......I most definitely WILL win the long term battle but it IS a struggle....and it won't be easy.